Start Communication problems with online dating

Communication problems with online dating

It is a deep dark secret of mine that I used to be a philatelist—yes, you can denigrate that fine hobby by calling it stamp collecting if you wish.

When we meet somebody in person, we have hundreds of thousands of verbal and non-verbal clues to give us an intuitive grasp of who we’re talking to and whether or not we’re into them long before we go up and introduce ourselves.

Everything from how they stand to how they talk, who they talk to, how they act around their friends, how they smell, even the pitch and timbre of their voice indicate whether or not we’re likely to have an initial attraction to them that would prompt us to make that all-important first approach.

One of the many benefits of trying a match-based online dating site like e Harmony is that they pair you with people you’re more likely to mesh with.

And while it’s natural to want to meet someone you find attractive and have something in common with, ideally you want someone you click with on a deeper level, someone whose personality and values are compatible with yours.

Match-based sites attempt to match singles based on factors that lead to attraction and compatibility.

Yet, when people receive their match profiles, some are surprised (and not in a good way) at what they get.

Or rather, it's just a small part of a bigger problem with online dating.

And the problem isn't really just a problem with online dating—it's a problem that extrudes from online markets in general: They lack sufficient friction, and paradoxically this is not a good thing.

Dan Slater asks whether online dating leads us to value our relationships less and whether that is a problem.

I agree that it's a problem, but it isn't the only problem.

Online markets reduce friction drastically in that they make the shopping part laughably easy.